so now what

so i've noticed a lot of things the past couple of days. i've watched people change the course the of their lives. do the whole what am i going to do when i grow up. but one things seems to be the same with my friends they all have the same ideas the same end to what they want in life. its really made me think about what life is all about, is it about what kind of grades that you get/got in school. is it about how much money you make at your job. is it what am i going to do to get that person to notice me today.i think not. i think life is all about what you make for yourself. its about that moment that make you the happiest. do what you love and love what you do. that is what will make you happy. as i look at my friends and what they have accomplished in life i'm glad to say that for the most part they have their heads on straight and know what they want out of life. it is the example of people like this that is going to make this a better world.

i love it i love it i love it

so today was such an awesome day. i saw some friends that i haven't seen a long time. well maybe a couple of months. but to us its a lifetime. its funny to see how your friends in up. you know with the decisions that they end up making. but i love it when i see a friend who thought they would never get married. sit there and say i miss (insert any name you want). it makes me really happy inside cause i know that that person is so happy with the one that they married. or to see a friend finally marry their soul mate. the one that they have been looking for their whole life. to see people that are truly happy is such a blessing. i saw a lot of things tonight. tears of joy was the one thing that i saw the most. its funny when you see friends and family see someone that they care about have that first dance the first kiss the first everything as husband and wife. what a joy it brings to ones life. then you have those friends that are still looking for that person. that one who will "complete" them. its funny how people use the word "complete" when finding a true love. cause its so true. when you have found that one person who in a sense makes you whole makes you want to be better person. thats when you find true happiness.

i hope that one day i will find that one person who completes me. who makes me want to be a better person. that day will be a glorious day for me. but to the ones that have found that one person who makes them whole. who completes them who makes them want to be a better person my hat goes off to you. but i do say. dont ever forget that feeling when you knew that that person is the one for you. because you never know what could happen. keep your heart, mind and spirit to the lord and you will never go wrong

well then

so i've realized the past couple of days that the past needs to stay in the past. as i rekindle this old friendship i'm learning that i have to be very careful on what i do and say. i don't want to ignite some old feelings that might still be there. but have turned into different feelings. if that makes sense to anyone. i still get scared of the friendship not working out. and not trying to get in the way of any existing relationship that either one of us in. or want to be in. i still need to learn how to adapt to this new kind of relationship that i have formed. ugh why cant things just be the way that they used to be or the way they should be. well maybe this is how they are supposed to be. i don't know. i still have friends that think that is not a good idea. but who are they to tell me what i do and don't do. i have my big boy pants on now.haha. right now i'm just trying to figure my self out and learn more and more about myself. you know the things that i should have learned when i was younger. or maybe i did but just forgot. im not perfect but i'm trying really hard to be the best person that i could be. I'm going to make many mistakes in my life. I'm going to do things that dont make any sense to anyone but to me they make perfect sense.i think thats part of life. you live and learn and then you find what makes you happy and you go with it. no matter what it is. i love my life right now. its so freaking sweet. i still think that i have some of the best friends in the world. and I'm starting up some new ones.i just hope that one day i can be home again. home is where my heart is. i lost it a while back and i got it back recently. but now i dont really know where it is. so many people have a piece of it. some small and some bigger then others. and then there is the biggest piece of it all that is waiting for someone to take it back. but i know she never will. she cant.

here we go again

so the other day i thought that it would be fun if i played a little football. and if you know me then you know what that means. yes another trip to the hospital. great fun. looks liked i just sprained my ankle again. ugh this suck. but this time the pain is far worse then it has ever been. i dont know why i do this to myself all the time. it really sucks.

so i recently just rekindled an old friendship. i dont know what will come out of it. i mean if we will keep what we have and be able to "just be friend". what does that even mean. cause you know that it will always be a little more then that. i mean you share a part of yourself with this person and to just kinda forget about it is really hard.ugh i just hope that we can stay friends and not lose each other again. it was always hard to lose a friend like i had. my best friend and my confidant. i mean to just lose someone like that and to know that it was because of your doing really hurts and takes a toll on you. i hope this person can forgive me for what has happened. she has told that she has but i dont know if that is true. just cause i know that if it was me i wouldn't be so forgiving. i also try VERY hard to forgive myself for what has happened. but i know that in due time things will work out for the two of us. i know that so far they are looking up. i think that i am happy. i feel happy but i dont know if that is just me telling myself that i am happy or if i just lie to myself and kinda convince myself that i am. i hope i just know what im doing. i feel like i do. things are good. really good

what a gnome what a gnome what a mighty good gnome

so today was one of those days where at the end of the day your like really did that just happen. oh crap did i really just buy a garden gnome. yes yes you did jason. you are an owner of a garden gnome named Cecil. why did i name him Cecil well..... there is no real reason why i named him that, it was just the first that came to my mind when we bought him. so being an owner of a gnome is harder then i thought. according to my friends i have to treat him like a a child. so does that i mean i have to feed him burp him and change his diapers? wait i didn't sign up for this i just wanted a freakin garden gnome thats it. oh well so far he has brought me nothing but joy so i guess its worth it.

so today also turned out to be one of those days that i just love. i was woken up by a phone call at like 9 am. ummm i don't function that early in the morning sometimes. i'm sorry if i don't. but its ok cause we went and did a bunch of really cool things. bought a gnome, got my hair did. yes i said that. went and ate some tasty burgers, had some really good cheeses took some pictures with Cecil, celebrated Michaels cousin birthday . played some games . ate at the best pizza place in Austin (home slice pizza) took some more pictures almost got in to a fight. oh what a night . sometimes i just really love my life.......

new plan

so I'm not one to blog. i don't really like to show many people the real me. but i think its something that i should really do. i have learned a lot these past couple of months. i have loved someone with all my heart and have lost that one person to reasons that i cant explain. i have also learned that people show there true colors in times that you need them the most. with that said i must say that i have some pretty dang awesome friends and i wouldn't give them up for anything in this world. i have also learned that sometimes when you think that you know someone they always tend to show you a different side of them and that always opens your eyes to new possibilities . not one of that of a relationship but one of just amazement. its when you think you know how the world works is when you lean that you don't know jack. I've really learned this recently. some times i just sit there and just think really? really? this is happening right now. they really just did that. man some people are really stupid. but some times i just think wow that is amazing if the rest of the world knew what i know the world would really be a better place.

but enough of that. so a little about who i am. i LOVE food. more then i love most things and people. i love it so much that i would give up almost any thing just for a taste. some people live to eat and some eat to live. man oh man i live to eat. i live life like the way i eat. i love making the fancy stuff you know the steak au jus and the NY strip like the next guy. but i am most comfortable making a pbandj sandwich and mac and cheese. thats when I'm the happiest. so if you ever want to know what kind of a mood i'm in or how my day is going just ask a fod question. it always makes me happy.

i dont know what i plan on doing with this blog or if I'll keep it up. but just know that when i do post something on here its cause i need to vent or just bored and want the rest of the world to know