this isn't right

ok so i dont know if you can see this or not. or if you even keep up with this blog. but i heard something about you tonight and it got me thinking about you. i dont know if its a good thing or not but i did. things have been hard with out you in my life. i dont know what direction i should be going. and you were always good at telling me what to do. ughh i wish i could bring things back they way they used to be. its so hard trying to live a life when you know that you are missing something huge in it. and i dont know where to turn. i got so used to going to you for all my advice and now i dont know where to turn i remember times where i didnt know what to do and there you were to make things better. you always had so much faith in me. i always felt like i could concur the world with you be my side. and now...... well i just dont know. there hasnt been anyone. that has come to close to the way that you used to take care of me. i mean there are girls that have been in my life and that have done a wonderful job of making me happy. but.... i just miss the way that you looked at me. the way that you would talk to me and tell me that you loved me. i miss it all. and i try so hard to find someone that could fill those shoes. i know that there might be one. but i have to make her fall me like you fell for me. :) i hope life finds you well and happy.

Mr. Nice Guy

I have recently been labeled the nice guy. what does that even mean?? i have always tried my hardest to treat the people with the same respect that i would want to be treated. i have always tried to go out of my way to make the people a truly care just a little happier then i am. it wasn't until recently that i have discovered that being this so called nice guy is been more then a curse then a blessing. it really has only brought me heartache and stress. there are times where i want to be that jerk guy that gets everything that he wants. to be that guy where i insult girls and make them feel bad about themselves. just so that i can have that chance. but i don't have it in me. i don't have it in me to be that way towards anyone. i just don't know what to do anymore. all i want to do is care about someone more then they will ever know. i recently had what i would consider the best moment of my life. but i cant share it with anyone. you know one of those this will change my life forever moments. i wish i could share with the world what i had experienced for it was amazing and breathtaking. i don't know what I'm going to do. i don't know where life is going to take me. but i do know this. i know that if i do keep living the life that i live now that some day it will pay off. well i hope it does. i know that one day i will find true happiness. i know that i will be able to make that one person feel like they are the only person in the world that know what true happiness is. they will know what it is like to loved unconditionally

for the so called nice guys don't give up. be who you really are. the pay off is going to be far greater then what you would ever expect. i know that soon the world will realize that kindness is something that most of the world would want in a person. well i hope so