History was made.

I love this country more then i think i myself understand. as i sat there with my roommate and watched the new president of the united states sworn in as president i sat to myself "we did this". we as a people have elected a man that we believe in. what just happened today was something that we have never done. it was the first time in a very long time that i have watched the news and thought to myself "wow i cant believe what is going on". i am witnessing history in the making. i have just watched the first African American to be sworn in as leader of the free world. how much i love America. i think back and think about the time where i stood there for hours just to watch a man that i believed in. the hours that i put in and helped the only way that i knew how in that office in Austin Texas and thought to myself i am really here. i am helping with the efforts to elect this person to be president. and for it to happen. i remember when i stood next to my little sister and watch the look on her face as she watched her president. how sweet it is to be in a country where we as a people have a voice and that we are heard not only be our friends and family but we are heard by millions of our fellow Americans. i sit here so proud of what we have done today. and to those that don't believe the man that is now our president say have faith in these words. 

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task".

it is up to us to make this country what we make of it. have faith in who we are and what we have learned. the road will not be easy and short. it will be long and will test us more then we have ever been tested. but know this my friends i believe that we have the right man for the job. and that he will lead us out of the darkness that we have found ourselves to be in. GOD BLESS US ALL. 

well here it is.

so this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life. i have loved another more then i love life its self. and i have put my all in something and watched it crash and burn. but i sit here and think to myself how i wouldn't have wanted it to be any different. that what has happened was for the best. that no matter what i go through in life that i can get threw it and walk toward the light and the end of the tunnel. and that its going to be ok. but you know it still hurts more then anything. no matter what people tell you. when you sit there and you feel alone its the hardest thing to go through. i have learned that. but i know that it is something that i need to go through. something that i guess will make me stronger. i don't know. all i know is that losing that one person the one person who you thought you would spend the rest of your life with is freaking hard. but i keep telling myself that this is for the best this is what i need to go through. this is what i need for me. but at the same time its hard to keep reality in check. you start losing your mind in a way. you start to put things in front of what needs to be done. ugh!!!!! it just sucks. i know i will get through this. but when does the pain start to go away. when do i feel like I'm going to be ok. i just cant wait for the time when i can look at myself and say Jason its ok. your better off. your going to be ok. someone will love you for you. and will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. well that's what I'm hoping for. all i can do now is look toward the future and see what life has in store for me. i just hope that my heart is taken care of. and that i will find someone that i can give my heart to again. i don't know if it will happen though. but a boy can wish. cant he???