ike

so this weekend i saw something that i didnt think that i would ever see. i saw a man that has been going through a lot in his life put everything that he has been going through behind him. we were helping out in lake jackson with the clean up that is going on after hurricane ike. and i saw a member of our stake presidency working harder then any one there. i saw a man working for the good of a community that he didnt even live in. i saw a man that worked so hard on loving the people in this town with out even knowing them. he worked and worked and worked till he had no more in him. then he just pushed right through it. it was such a great feeling that we had such a great person there working with us to make the people of that town happy. i grew so much watching that man work as hard as he did. i realized then what true service was. what it is like to work hard throught anything that you are going through. that when you think that you have it bad when you are sitting there and you are thinking to yourself and saying why is this happening to me? that is when you need to find some kind of service. that is when you need to dig down and know that there is someone that is worse off that you are. and that you need to find them and do what it takes to make them happy. service is the way to find what happiness is. i learned that i need to do more of it and that doing something like that really does make me happy. i just hope that i will always remember what i saw that day. that even when your down and out service is the that will make you happy.

so here i am

so things the past couple of days have been up and down for me. ive noticed a lot of different things about myself that i have forgotten or just don't really imply in my everyday life. i have forgotten that my life isn't just my life. that i "live" for different things that make me or someone else happy. i always strive to better myself and the lives of the people that mean the most to me. some times i do do stupid things and that i always get "called out" for it. but i really do try my hardest and try really hard to better myself everyday. i notice that my friends and that the people that i care the most about are trying to do the same. ugh i don't know why things cant really come out the way that we want them to come out. but i'm glad that they do at the same time. what would we do if everything that we ever wanted came true. i don't think that we would ever learn the things that we know now. its like the song says "sometimes i thank god for unanswered prayers remember when your talking to the man upstairs.that just because he doesn't answer doesnt mean he dont care Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

AND THERE SHE WAS

so over the past couple of months i have been really trying to find myself and kinda get a feel on how i want my life to turn out. and during this process ive had people in my life come and go. some of them i really miss and have tried to make this friendship work. and now i can say that it was all worth it. ive been told that i couldn't make it work. that a friendship would not work out between us. but as of right now i have never been so happy in my life. i saw this person last night. it was really funny cause i had the whole nervous thing going on. like the whole time. i could nt help but to be nervous the whole time that she was here. i have really missed the feelings that she gave me when i saw her. its a good thing. a really good thing. i just wish that more people would be happy for me. but i was glad that one of my best friends was really happy . i was really nervous to let here know about all of this. i didn't want her to think that all the advice that she has giving me over the months was pointless. i really did apply what she had told me. but at the end of the day its my decision. i know what makes me happy. and my friend makes me happy.