wow its been way to long

i cant believe its been 2 months since my last entry. there is so much i want to talk about. so many things have happened in my life and i don't know where to start. well first of all. i just want to say how much i love Malinda. she is the rock in my life. i have loved many girls before. but she is the first one to show my what true love is. i don't know how many times i need to tell her to show her how much i truly love her. when we first met her i had friends tell me that it was a bad idea to date her. but you know what. she made me happy and that was all that mattered to me. i have lost some of those friends because of it. and you know what i am happier for it. i am happier that i have found the love of my life. i cant wait to spend the rest of my life with Malinda.

one thing that does make it hard for me is the family. now my friends (the world, I'm saying this because i need to get this off of my chest. i need to vent. and if you have read my blog before then you know that this is where i go and vent. i talk to the world like you are my friends. this is where i am home. if you have something nice to say or advice then i will welcome it). OK back to my story. for most of my life my dad has always put me down. I'm not trying to sit here and cry about it. its not me. but you know i thought that when i got married i could spend time with my father in law. i was so excited for it. i thought to myself i might have someone that i can go to when i need advice for my family. sadly i wont be able to do that. no matter what i do, i try and talk to him but its like i don't exists to him. and he has tried almost everything to break us up. i don't know what to do. i cant lay there and take it like the other guys do. if you know me then you know that i don't back down from anyone. but i just wish there was something that i could to make him see me for me and that all i want to do is make Malinda happy. so any advice would be helpful.

so i have also had this great idea. if you have been reading my statuses on facebook then you know what i am talking about. something that has caught my attention here in Austin are the mass amounts of trailers that i have taken over the city. i look around and its like they are everywhere. and for the most part they really aren't anything special. i mean there have been tacos truck going around construction sites for years. that's nothing new. now there are better ones to try now. you can find everything from tacos to pizza to some thing in a cone. ( ok you were the executive chef at hudson on the bend and your best idea was to sell food out of a cone. yeah now i see why you were fired.) most of what you find is VERY unhealthy. well have no fear Austin i am coming. i present to my city. "The Pasta Trailer". we will have healthy items to eat. things that you wont feel bad to eat. pasta that you love. pasta that you grew up eating. the ones that make you scream for more. we cant wait to open. we cant wait to show our great city that there is something healthy out there to eat that tastes great. oh man im so excited.

ok so now that i have vented and i have told some happy news and what not. there is something that i want to talk about. now if you didn't know. i am a very emotional person. i mean i show how i feel on my shoulder. its funny my life can be told through blue octobers music. its really weird cause most of the music is written by a bi-polar genius. i have ups and downs. all the time. i feel depressed, sad, moody. i cant explain it. its really hard. i feel bad for Malinda sometimes cause she doesn't know what to do or what to tell me. i feel like a little kid. i see myself doing this and i cant do anything about it. i think i need to talk about this more often on here. this is my home. this is where i am myself. i love talking to the world. i have no idea who reads this. i don't know if i know you. or your one of my closes friends. i try everyday to be happy. i put on a smile and go. i do what i do for Malinda. i try so hard for her. but sometimes i feel like its not enough. i put her through so much. and it hurts too. i see what she goes through with her dad. with everything that i have seen that he puts her through i can see why she would want to give up. but she doesn't. she stands up for what she believes in. she follows her dreams. ( now if you have read this before then you know that i am a huge believer in doing what you love and loving what you do). to see her look at what is she is capable of doing and to watch the creative side of her just shine. just makes me so happy. i love every minute of it. if you don't love what you do in life then why do it. i don't understand how people can do something that they hate everyday. it makes no sense to me.

well its late. and i feel like i have taken up to much of your time. oh one more thing. even though i don't really have a father figure to show me the ropes to becoming a husband and later being a father. i have one great mom. she is the one who shows me how to love. and how to be loved. i also have randall wright. that is a man that i admire more then any man that i know. even though i am not one of his kids he treats me like his own. and has loved me like a son. and for that i am forever great ful. so world chase your dreams. dont let anyone get in your way of following your dreams. become that person that you want to be. become you.