History was made.

I love this country more then i think i myself understand. as i sat there with my roommate and watched the new president of the united states sworn in as president i sat to myself "we did this". we as a people have elected a man that we believe in. what just happened today was something that we have never done. it was the first time in a very long time that i have watched the news and thought to myself "wow i cant believe what is going on". i am witnessing history in the making. i have just watched the first African American to be sworn in as leader of the free world. how much i love America. i think back and think about the time where i stood there for hours just to watch a man that i believed in. the hours that i put in and helped the only way that i knew how in that office in Austin Texas and thought to myself i am really here. i am helping with the efforts to elect this person to be president. and for it to happen. i remember when i stood next to my little sister and watch the look on her face as she watched her president. how sweet it is to be in a country where we as a people have a voice and that we are heard not only be our friends and family but we are heard by millions of our fellow Americans. i sit here so proud of what we have done today. and to those that don't believe the man that is now our president say have faith in these words. 

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task".

it is up to us to make this country what we make of it. have faith in who we are and what we have learned. the road will not be easy and short. it will be long and will test us more then we have ever been tested. but know this my friends i believe that we have the right man for the job. and that he will lead us out of the darkness that we have found ourselves to be in. GOD BLESS US ALL. 

well here it is.

so this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life. i have loved another more then i love life its self. and i have put my all in something and watched it crash and burn. but i sit here and think to myself how i wouldn't have wanted it to be any different. that what has happened was for the best. that no matter what i go through in life that i can get threw it and walk toward the light and the end of the tunnel. and that its going to be ok. but you know it still hurts more then anything. no matter what people tell you. when you sit there and you feel alone its the hardest thing to go through. i have learned that. but i know that it is something that i need to go through. something that i guess will make me stronger. i don't know. all i know is that losing that one person the one person who you thought you would spend the rest of your life with is freaking hard. but i keep telling myself that this is for the best this is what i need to go through. this is what i need for me. but at the same time its hard to keep reality in check. you start losing your mind in a way. you start to put things in front of what needs to be done. ugh!!!!! it just sucks. i know i will get through this. but when does the pain start to go away. when do i feel like I'm going to be ok. i just cant wait for the time when i can look at myself and say Jason its ok. your better off. your going to be ok. someone will love you for you. and will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. well that's what I'm hoping for. all i can do now is look toward the future and see what life has in store for me. i just hope that my heart is taken care of. and that i will find someone that i can give my heart to again. i don't know if it will happen though. but a boy can wish. cant he???

now what???

so things lately have been really good. they have been so good that i feel like i don't deserve what i have in my life. i have recently received many great blessings that I'm not sure i should have gotten to come back in my life. friendships that i thought were gone and diffident things like that. if you know me then you would know that this has been the hardest year that i have ever faced. i don't really know how got here. how i got to this point in my life. i look back and what this year has meant that the different accomplishments and the failures that i have had. its hard to look at this year and say that it was a good one. but it was a very educational one. yeah educational. thats  a good word to describe it. but you know i wouldn't really trade what i have learned for anything. i have friendship that are stronger and relationships that have been through a lot but are still strong. if anything they have gotten stronger. know i don't really know what a head of me. but i look forward to what life has to throw at me. I'm ready bring it on. 

yes yes thats the way that i was in love

love is such a weird and crazy thing. it will make you do things that you thought you would never do. especially when it is a crazy kind of love. yes crazy. i mean seriously come on when you have a crazy girl screaming in your ear about who knows what. and all you can say is. have you ever noticed how beautiful you are when your mad. wow its like seeing perfection in person. that's a crazy kinda love. i remember so many things that happened where i was like wow that just really happened. like when you would see that girl for the first time. and you noticed that she looks completely out of place and all you can say is hello family, welcome. and then you see her again and she is wearing the most ridicules pair of pajamas and you think to yourself dang that is really hot. that's a crazy kind of love. or when you sit there and your face is touching and she tells you that you want to kiss her. and all you can think of is hey i think ill just kick her off the bed. just so she doesn't know how badly i want to kiss her. i cant giver her everything today. and then you sing her a song that just brings the whole weekend into a dream that you want to live in for the rest of your life. that's a crazy kind of love. and when she tells you that she loves you on accident and then later on that night you tell her that she is the love of your life. and that was not accident. that's a crazy kind of love. so to all those looking for a crazy kind of love. remember that its awesome when your screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. and when its 2 am and cursing their name. and that just makes you go insane. man that is the best kind of love. the crazy love. its awesome. now go and find it.......

ughhhhh

so i noticed that some times friends are hard to come by. this has happened recently in my life. i have had friends come and go and then i have some that have stayed and some times i don't even know why they are still there. but I'm glad that they are. and that sometimes its hard to have a friend that is just a friend and nothing more. that its a crime or something to have someone as your best friend and that its hard for people to understand this. that its ok that i can just be friends with this person and that there is nothing else there but an amazing friendship. and i love that more then anything. its so amazing to have a certain kinda friendship with someone where only you two are the only ones that understand whats going and that's ok. cause you know that you don't owe anything to anyone else. i have a couple of girls that i would consider my best friends and i love it. i love the close friendships that i have with some people. and some more then others. but for the most part I'm so grateful for the friendships that i have. i tend to forget that i need to be grateful for that. i sometimes i forget that. but im glad that i have an amazing friend who keeps reminding me that i have that. she tends to know more then i do. it sucks that that happens a lot. but that's what she here for. to know more then i do. and thats ok with me. thats why she is my best friend

history in the making

as i sat here and watch the numbers climb and i watched the polls rise and realizing that this might just happen. i looked back on the past couple of years and how i watched this man stand for what he stands for. how it took what most people said could not happen and he made it a reality. i sat here and watched for the first time a African American candidate stand before millions people and say that he will be the next president of the united states. and how proud i am to know that. i remembered the first time that i walked into the Obama headquarters in Austin Texas and just said how can help. how can i make a difference. i did what i did. i did what i could do to help. i remembered the time when i took my little sister and watch for the first time the look in her eyes that she knew what she believed in and what she wanted. that at that moment in her life she can stand there and say that she was there to hear the first African American president speak to her and the rest of the people that were there to witness history in the making. i remember my mother who doesn't have much faith in this country say proudly that she voted for the first time in years for a man that she believed in. i sat here and realized that as i watched this speech i was watching history and how i can i was there when. i watched as the first African American president elect speak of that women in Georgia. how he spoke of his family and friends. how he spoke that this was not a victory not just for him but for every American who chased that American dream. who still believes that we are a county based on dreams and chasing our dreams. the what our forefathers fought for is still alive today in this country. how what every American has fought for and fighting for is still alive in this country.
the time is here. change is about to happen. this is not a red country, a blue country, a white country, a black country and Hispanic country. this is my America, your America, our America.we are the United States of America. we are the ones that we have been waiting for. we are the ones that can change this country. yes we can. yes we can do it together. as Americans. lets make a change for the better. lets support a man that has worked hard to come from nothing to something.
even if you dont support borak obama. now is the time to let your voice be heard.now is the time that you need to stand for what you beleive in. we have been promised by our next president that he will be honest with us. i know that that is hard to take in but if you dont let your voice be heard then we will be back where we started. so please let your voice be heard this time around. have faith that our county can change for the better. we can do it together as americans. may god bless this great country and our new president borak obama.

how do you deal

have you ever come to the realization that somethings are ever and that they can never be what you want them to be? well I'm going through that right now. and I'm trying not to go crazy over it. the one thing that i know is that ill be ok. that when one door closes another one opens and you get to see a whole new different side of life. you tend to start looking at things differently and you notice opportunities that you didn't think were there and then you act upon them. you know when ever I'm knocked down like this i usually just lie there and i don't try to make things better for myself. but this time its different. i have friends that support me in what I'm doing and they believe in what I'm doing and who i am. Ive noticed that lately i have so many great friends. and one that is above them all. i don't know what life has in store for me or what will happen to me when it is all said and done. i think that's something most people try to figure out.but one thing that we forget is that we don't always control what happens in our lives. some times we are spectators in are own world. and sometimes we just have to put our hands up and say "alright fine i have no idea what is going on but if you think that this is what i need then so be it. ill do what ever you want me to do. it sucks sometimes when you reach that point in life but you have to go through it. you have to let go and see what else is out there for you. even if it hurts and you don't think that its going to work.

I'm going through something like that right now. i don't know where this is going to go but I'm willing to try something new. i have faith that I'm in good hands and I'll get through this. i have a friend who will tell me that I'm being stupid and that i should stop what I'm doing. so life will be good from here on. I'm so excited for what I'm about to go through. its going to be an awesome ride.