funny how long someone is willing to wait.

have you ever thought about how long we wait for things. like just the simple things. like how long we sit at a light and wait for it to turn green. or for a doctor to see you in the er. i just always find myself waiting for something. i don't even know why i always allow myself to be in these types of situations. but lately i have been just waiting. and when i think that time is going to finally go my way i tend to always add another couple hours to what I'm doing. it kinda sucks but at the same time i know that the time that is added on will be for the better outcome. i never knew how long i would be able to just wait. just sit there and wait and wait and wait. and sometimes i feel like i should just get up and leave cause its just not worth it to me. but then i always get that reassurance that this is some thing that will keep me humble and that it will make me a better person.but it really does get frustrating sometimes just sitting there. I'm sure you can tell that my patience is running really low. last night while i was sitting in that stupid wheelchair all of this just hit me. that Ive found myself just waiting. i don't even know what Ive been waiting for the past couple of months. i know that in some aspects of my life i know what I'm waiting for. but others i have no idea what the heck I'm doing. and those are the times where i when i just want to run and hid and forget about the world.

something else that has been on my mind is how quick people are to judge someone. i have recently seen this in my life. when some one who has made some bad choices in the past and have been forgiven for what they have done is still being judged by a second party. a party that has no ties to what happened. it just really sucks when you try really hard to be a better person and just like that you are judged again for something that you did years ago. i mean come on its not like your perfect or anything i mean if you are then by all means judge the crap out of me. but i know you not. so find it in your heart to find forgiveness. find it in your heart that even though things have happened in the past they are in the past where they belong. i am a new person. i love life and the people that i keep in it. especially the ones that i hold near and dear to my heart. those are the ones that i care about the most and do not want t0 hurt in any way:)