out with the old in with the new???? i think

ok so here we go again.... i think? so things are going pretty well. i just had an amazing week. things i dont think could have gone better. but thats for another post that one day i hope that i can share with the world. or at least the 2 people that actually read my blog. ( me and my mom) so i have been put into what i would consider one of the biggest pickles that i think i have ever been in. and i dont know what to do. as i go through life i know what i will say bye to some of my dearest friends. and some of them i know that i can do without. but then there are some that i cant honestly do with out at this point in my life. and its ok. well mainly i know there is a role that they can play later on in my life. i just hope that i can keep that contact in my life. and not let them ride off into the sunset without knowing what they meant to me. but then there are the ones that i need in my life. the ones that i know will play that important role. the most important one i guess. not really the one that you might think when reading this. i think that i can learn more from a mistake then from something/someone that makes me happy. i know that i still have so much to learn about life. and i know that in life you have to make mistakes. you have to make that bad decision. how are we going to learn if we are always doing the right thing. maybe its something that i got wrong. but i have had a lot of different types of people throughout my life time. and there are some that i wish i never would have known. then there are the ones that i knew i shouldnt have in my life but i still kept them there. and then there are the ones that everyone tells me that i shouldnt be friends with. the ones that i know serve a certain purpose in my life. and i only i know why they are there. and i for one am glad that they are there. its funny how you can care so much for someone no matter what they put you through. you can still look them in the eye and be grateful for what they have done for you. for being that person that made you happy when you were having a bad day. to be there for you when you just had the best day ever and they were the only person that you wanted to tell. and then they did something that you never thought you would ever be able or capable of doing. they show you how to care for someone like you have never done before. they show you a different part of your heart that you never thought was there. and it hurts when you come to the terms that it will never happen. that what could have been is something that you will never know. it makes you think of how you look at life. its made me really think if im doing the right things sometimes. if i have made the right choice in doing what i do best. they always seemed to bring out the best in you. and all you want is to feel what you had that one time. but now we are where we are with everything. life has brought us here and things are different between us. its something that i have come to realize.

so now i sit here and think about where my life is going. where i need to be now. what kind of opportunities i cant let pass. i know that what is a head of me is something great. i feel that i have a mark that i need to make in the world some how. and when i figure that out i know i will be happy. but until then i will keep doing what i do. the nice guy in me will still be there. and i will do everything in my power to make the people in my life that much happier. for it is the people that are in my life that i want to make happy. i just hope that i dont take to long making that happen for some of them.