well here i am

so the past couple of weeks ive been debating a lot of things and kinda what i should do with y life right now. one of the things that ive been debating is if i should start dating. im not sure if i should or not. its not a being ready type of thing of if im ready or not its just a me type of thing. i mean i dont really know what i have to offer to the girls here. i mean with all the people that i have to i guess have compete with its kinda hard. i have a couple strikes against me at the get go. i mean im not an rm. thats one. i'm not currently in school so that is kinda looked down i guess cause everyone and they're mom is. the job i have is not what you would call the best. but i tell you what i love it more then anything. on somedays. but i just dont know about this whole dating thing. in some ways im kinda not ready. ive kinda gotten into it a little but nothing worth getting in to a relationship with.ugh. i really hate this part of life sometimes but i know that i need to go through it. i just think that i really know what im looking for now. i mean i thought i knew what i wanted in life but now i just dont know what im looking for. there are so many things that i want in life and i dont know if i can find someone that has everything that i want. i guess only time will till if i will ever find what i want in life. maybe the person that im looking for is right in front of me. but i just dont see them for that yet. ughhhhhhhhh why is life like this sometimes. hopefully life will be what i want it to be. hopefully i will find true happiness again. i once had it and i know what kind of joy it brings. life can be so sweet sometimes. :)